“It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is show people up.” ~Harry Emerson Fosdick
The Teacher and I attended our fourth marriage conference two weeks ago, a few weeks shy of our twenty second wedding anniversary to be celebrated on December 22, 2012.
As I pray and plan about what to write while I focus on marriage the next few days, I’m conscious of how seldom I write about my relationship with The Teacher. I touch on this fact in a past blog about our relationship, but am reminded again today that the reason is because he is so very special.
I don’t want to share him.
I want to keep him separate from the work I do and “come home” to him at the end of writing all day. I also want to protect The Teacher. He is a very public figure in our community. We never leave the house without a happy school age child spying him in the neighborhood or at the store and shouting, “Hi Mr. G!!”
But today I recognize another reason I don’t write about our marriage very often…
Our relationship is wonderful! Solid. Healthy. Rich. Vibrant.
Why would I not want to write about that?
I feel horrible with the fact that I have such a great marriage when there are so many hurting, destructive husbands and wives in our midst.
What a stupid reason not to sing the song of our love story!
The world desperately needs to hear about thriving relationships.
Because marriage tells the truth about God!
The very makeup, fabric and intimacy of marriage is the closest living demonstration of the character of our Father. Like it or not, marriage makes a statement about the gospel. The institution of marriage never fails–it is God created. Like the opening quote by Fosdick, as human people we fail marriage, marriage doesn’t fail us.
If married are you doing whatever you can to tell the truth about God or do you choose to stand at a crossroad over your relationship?
I’m really not trying to be cavalier about what faces troubled relationships. I’ve sat in coffee shops with many women over endless stories about trial, betrayal, and unmet needs. The tales suck! But there is a heartbeat that bothers me deeply. There is a trend. A difference…
We are living among a generation of couples who face their crossroad (I believe every marriage throughout time faces the question as to whether to stick it out) but instead of persevering the choice is isolation and a loss of hope.
I can recall bleak nights when isolation, desertion, and loss of hope tempted me. When in the middle of darkness you can’t see anything else around you. That is a dangerous time to ponder or make plans and decisions. I’m so glad I never allowed myself to think those thoughts for long because I might have missed what was on the other side of perseverance.
Marriage is like fine wine, it gets better with time if you work at it.
Thankfully, to stand at a crossroad in marriage is never an option for us. The Teacher and I don’t always agree. We don’t always mesh perfectly, but as we near the year when we’ll be married longer than we ever were single I do believe that our blend is quite smooth. Tomorrow I’ll talk about what makes our marriage work, but each would be a mute point if we hadn’t made the choice to forever flying in the same direction.
Get out of the fork in the road. Stop turning your backs. Walk down a single pathway. My goodness, it’ll be full of hills… valleys and peaks… but you will be going through them together.
On one path you will be sure to succeed and it really does get better. Trust the One who created marriage and someday soon you’ll soar!