Envy! It’s a big ugly subject and our focus the next few days!

Test yourself. How often do you feel genuinely happy for someone versus downright jealous? Just check out your facebook newsfeed for your level of envy which can act as your online free questionnaire.

Envy wins hands down.

That’s my confession for today, inspired by a blog I read this morning while flipping pancakes. The blog talks about confessions of our generation and the importance of making those confessions. I’m happy to have found this article through Relevant Magazine because a deeper walk through authentic Christianity is foundational to everything I write. 

The article asks: Why Confess?

I can answer for myself: 1) I don’t feel so alone when someone confesses a weakness which leads to the second answer… 2) Confession connects me to others.

We desperately need connection in our digital world where short, one sided encounters cause disconnection and as I’m admitting now, envy!

I really try to make confession a big part of my written word. Like I share in my video promotional, it’s my job to be an open book for others to read. The good and the bad! In doing so, it gives others the freedom to walk away from shame.

We think we’re staying safe when we keep secrets, but all we’re really doing is increasing our shame.

The teacher and I sat on the deck of Crooked Tree Lodge two weeks ago, the morning before he drove off to leave me for four days to catch up on some much needed writing. I made an off-handed comment about what he was going to do that day. I knew. I know my husband and my husband knows me. This brings comfort to us because we are unable to live in close relationships when we hide secrets. 

Envy is ugly.

It’s shameful.

I hate to admit how often I feel it, but am making the choice to confess the fact now. The truth is that I have felt envy since March 4th, 1983, the day Lisa chose Leanne over me for a best friend. I have felt envy since another Lisa I’ve known since Kindergarten always got more clothes than me on Christmas. I dreaded watching her open each crisp box and fold back beautifully lined tissue paper to reveal each adorable sweater. I have felt envy since the twins next door skipped over with their new puppy.

Now that we have Facebook, Twitter, endless “social-ness”… those damn puppies are in my face all day long. It’s hard to get away from the trips, parties (not invited to), awards, and landscaped yards. And the worst part is that I know I’m guilty of posting the same stuff as well!

I scroll, comment, and like trying to be happy, but there is a part of me that really isn’t happy that she gets to relax with friends at the barbeque.

I begin this week with confession and awareness because after all… 1) Together, maybe we won’t feel alone and, 2) Connecting with you is one of my all time favorite things.

Might we find healing for our envy this week…

How do you struggle with envy?  

 

Photo credit: bit.ly/Nf4z6r