fog“Give to us a clear vision that we may know where we stand and what to stand for.”


~Peter Marshall


Maybe life doesn’t seem clear right now. You’ve prayed for clarity, but the way remains foggy.

One of the reasons many people can’t find the right answers for the challenges before them is because they don’t ask the right questions, or they never bother to question their current choices at all!

As a reminder, my job for Wednesday’s Action blogs is to help you ask the right questions. As someone who has made it my life’s work to instruct others in the dance of decision making, I look to ask questions that will shift your perspective or help simplify a complicated issue in your life by guiding you toward clarity.

I can do this job, but the smartest thing you can choose is to coach yourself through difficult situations. Here are three steps to help you do that:

1) Get clear.


An answer can never be found until there is clarity in understanding the problem.

So often we look out at an unclear big picture, but fail to focus on the details within that larger goal. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed in life’s challenges, and I have been so guilty of wallowing around in the fog without taking action in what I can deal with in the moment!

Here’s an example: At the start of this year, I felt overwhelmed, wayward, and out of control. I know where I want to go when I look far down the road, but I don’t really know how I’m going to get there. But while living within that first week of January, while I stopped long enough to self-coach and ask myself the right questions, I soon realized that I was going nowhere until I  got a handle on bookkeeping, budgeting, and a workable financial business plan as I moved into 2015. So I stopped most everything and dealt with that.

Here is a warning! Whether we’re dealing with finances, health, business or personal goal, relational issues, or spiritual growth, the need to get clear never ends! We lie to ourselves when we think that it’ll be enough to take care of it one week, move on, and never touch it again. That’s a bit like the husband who responds to his wife by saying, “Why do I need to tell you I love you? I told you the day we got married. Isn’t that enough?”

Pinpoint the issue. Then address it with very specific action. Just remember to circle back, over and over.

2) Go even deeper with your specific actions.


Probe even further on specifically how you will tackle this pinpointed issue. Ask yourself important questions and discipline yourself to answer them. What is the next step I need to take? When will I take that step? What triggers me into avoiding these steps? What are my hidden fears? What’s really holding me back?

So much of my bookkeeping procrastination is because I lack confidence as a business woman. I’m a dreator and dreamer, more than an administrator. Give me a blank page to build and visualize, and I’m freely planning. But, the implementation of those plans puts my head in the pantry for avoidance. A trigger for me is isolation. This is where a team, accountability partner, life coach, or counselor is crucial for our success. As you work to go deeper into your action plan, be sure to include others. We cannot successfully accomplish our goals in isolation. We try, but we cannot!

3) Love yourself enough to tell the truth.


Self-coaching in only successful if you are willing to tell the truth. To yourself! Be painfully honest about what scares you and then bring that to Jesus in prayer. Bravely face your authentic desires, dreams, fears, and hopes. I feel so passionate about the unique path the Lord has established for each individual. We cannot land on that true path when we lie to ourselves or refuse to face the reality of our choices.

This is also where others are critical. In a previous post, I mentioned we are blind to our own blindness. We simply cannot figure out ourselves, our shortcoming, and limitations without the lens of another. My team has helped me tremendously. We don’t meet regularly, but it’s enough that they know everything about Chicks with Choices. We’ve shared the long journey together, and they help me make many decisions. My business is all about choices, but I need assistance in making them. Who are you accountable to?

Having said that, in the end we are only accountable to God. Is He included? As much as my team has helped guide me over the years, most of my deep rooted directives come from a daily relationship with my Savior. I have had to make tough decisions that no one else understands. I thank God for the people around me who trust that and have supported so many God-given directions. Are you most deeply accountable to God?

Begin again today (it’s a daily decision) to coach yourself. Ask the right questions, find the right people, fellowship with the Living God, and the foggy way will steadily become clearer.

Where do you need clarity before you can move forward? What is the most important question you need answered?



Photo Credit: Flickr (Creative Commons)


Kim’s signature closing:

Welcome new readers, and those well loved! My blogs are focused on authentic Christianity and real life decisions. History proves that my readers interact most comfortably through an email exchange, rather than a public comment. You are always welcome to find me at I welcome your questions or comments and will do my best to respond in a timely manner.

My deepest desire is for you to know Jesus real. He is not just a positive thought, a model to follow, or a comfortable space to hear love. He is life. Adventure. He can be the very air you breathe with just one decision. I never knew Him until I ended up sitting on a dirty field in India. He met me there, and that gripping tale of redemption is found in my life’s work: The Chance to Choose: Become Who You Were Meant to Be One Choice At a Time. I’d love all my reader’s to know the story. It is there where you’ll understand me, and the One I serve, best. Click on printed/signed copy, or Kindle version (also available on Nook and Apple iBook) to purchase, and if you need more, check out the book trailer below: