“Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
by fearing to attempt.”
In our insecurity and self-doubt we are like a Russian stacking doll. We present the big one to the public while the deepest thumb sized self rattles around on the inside.
If you have any sense of artistry on your unique path, the self doubt will be greater because broader is the uniqueness. The greater the artist or pioneer, the greater the doubt.
I’ve never focused on the word “unique” when it comes to my tag line for Chicks with Choices…uncover the unique path you were meant to live. I suppose I infer the weight of this one word on a regular basis by continually mentioning that we need to be on our own path, not someone else’s. But my point today is that the more we embrace our unique mark on the world, the more doubt we may feel.
The reason is simple. If the path is truly unique that means no one else is doing it.
We won’t look like another. When we walk that path in steps of insecurity the self-doubt will feel heavy because we traipse alone on that path.
What’s truly ironic is when someone unique grabs their calling and plays it out, we identify with them! We are all so different, yet we are all so much the same and really not alone at all.
I wrestle with self doubt on a regular basis. Most days it’s bearable, others knock the wind out of me. That tiny wooden doll nestled inside vibrates like there is a titanic earthquake within the itty-bitty space. I’m knocked around like a lost pebble tossed in the dryer.
God, it’s so hard to stay on the path! How can we do this easily when no one’s walked ours exactly before?
Do you realize that there is no one like you nor will there ever be? No one like you ever again. You are unique! Therefore, your path will be unique. No one has or ever will walk the same exact steps you’ve walked or will walk.
I was reminded of this as I read the June 16th devotional in Jesus Calling written by Sarah Young. She journals what the Spirit puts on her heart and this particular entry reads, “I have called each of my children to a different path, distinctly designed for that one. Do not let anyone convince you that his path is the only right way. And be careful not to extol your path as superior to another’s way. What I require of you is to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with me (Micah 6:8)–wherever I lead.” I love how this also reminds us of humility once again!
On your unique journey there will be self-doubt along the way. How could there not?! The trick is to shout over the indecision and battle with the paralyses that will affect any productivity.
A recent day of insecurity found me asthmatic and gulping for hope while I stopped dead in my tracks and almost took a serious detour.
I was one click away from flagrantly launching my manuscript to the masses for free online and walking away from everything. My prayers were R rated and cynical, to say the least.
Thankfully, as always, I’m on the other side even though I feel bruised a bit. Funny how it always comes down to a choice! The choice to listen to the right tape, recall the right promises, focus on the One who gets us anywhere worth going. Beth Moore says it well in her book, So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been a Bad Friend To Us when she writes, “We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us.”
What is truth?
The well worn path of His promises, precepts, and faithful guidance.
We may be walking individual unique paths, but our direction (if we are to get anywhere important) must be rooted in the path of God. I devote a whole chapter to this idea in that book I almost threw out. Our path will be unique to us, but it won’t mean much if we’re wandering aimlessly. We have to ask for the good way–a step found in the decision making method based off of Jeremiah 6:16, which is the basis of my manuscript.
I just write today to journey alongside you if the walk is one of insecurity right now. The closer you get to uncovering and making progress on the unique journey, the more doubt you will experience.
I’m sorry for this. Self-doubt is another unfortunate Cost.
Photo credit: Flickr (Creative Commons)