“New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I’m not talking about this past Easter. I’m talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.” ~Bill Maher
Not everyone will celebrate Easter today. Some, not at all, like Bill Maher, author of, The New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass, while many others will offer lip service with chocolates and a bow-tie for the special occasion.
The thought could cause me to lose my appetite, even for bread and wine, which I haven’t digested for 45 days (except for the one night I had a wrestling match & lost with a waffle loaded in peanut butter and syrup).
Or I could seek to understand.
I could acknowledge the fact that so many people don’t comprehend the meaning of today. People just like Pharisees and disciples whom Jesus walked and talked with. There were so many times when Jesus tried to spell it out and they just didn’t get it.
My approach in reading through the Bible this year has been an effort to bring fresh eyes and an unprepared mind to the book I’ve read so much of over the past 25 years, because I want to crawl up, baby-like, upon the words. I want God to talk to me like a miracle who just rounded the corner as I stand stunned, confused, but excited about what He might say next. He’s so familiar, but is He really? I want to know Him deeper, but I want to approach Him as a stranger too.
Honestly, I found it really difficult to read three chapters of Matthew a day. I’m so used to digesting scripture at a much slower pace, cross-referencing, and gleaning deeper understanding. I’ve really worked to keep myself on the surface in order to stay in check with an overview, almost like an outsiders perspective on an event I wasn’t invited to.
I’ve tried to stay indifferent to Jesus. I’ve tried not to celebrate Him. I’ve tried to place Him in the same category as other Old Testament characters I’ve come to love and respect over the last few months, like Abraham, Noah, Joseph, and Tamar.
But I simply can’t deny that Jesus is altogether different. He’s complex, mysterious, authoritative, confrontational, confusing in the most attractive way. I’m drawn to Him like none other and there are reactions to my senses that can’t be explained…
There is a fragrance in the air.
There is a breeze of breath that causes my heart to leap.
I feel Spring, a whisper of something entirely new that rises from dead seeds found in law and regulation.
He fills my eyes with tears when I close the book on Matthew, knowing my reading plan will return me to Exodus, and all at once I miss Him.
I miss Him desperately on the last page. I can’t explain it.
Having said all that, I write today understanding that not everyone feels this way. Easter is not this to all. So, while we celebrate and I return to wheat while the bold taste of Merlot rolls over my tongue, I acknowledge you. And it’s with a fierceness I can’t explain either. This blog has not gone in the direction I planned. I finish a bit confused myself, and I’m not even sure what purpose this will serve. I’m tempted to hit delete and skip the Easter post. Everyone will understand.
But for whoever this is for, I’ll publish.
I’m someone madly in love with Jesus, but my fingers are bounding toward the one who doesn’t believe Him at all. I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry if all this just doesn’t feel real to you. If Easter is a hard holiday because in your heart you don’t believe.
I’d like to seek to understand you because it’s so hard to feel alone and unknown. Feel free to email me if you digested some peeps, you didn’t really celebrate Easter today.
Photo credit: Flickr (Creative Commons)
Kim’s signature closing:
Welcome new readers, and those well loved! My blogs are focused on authentic Christianity and real life decisions. History proves that my readers interact most comfortably through an email exchange, rather than a public comment. You are always welcome to find me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I welcome your questions or comments and will do my best to respond in a timely manner.
My deepest desire is for you to know Jesus real. He is not just a positive thought, a model to follow, or a comfortable space to hear love. He is life. Adventure. He can be the very air you breathe with just one decision. I never knew Him until I ended up sitting on a dirty field in India. He met me there, and that gripping tale of redemption is found in my life’s work: The Chance to Choose: Become Who You Were Meant to Be One Choice At a Time. I’d love all my reader’s to know the story. It is there where you’ll understand me, and the One I serve, best. Click on printed/signed copy, or Kindle version (also available on Nook and Apple iBook) to purchase, and if you need more, check out the book trailer below: